Best Way to Make a Guy Express His Feelings for You

Make Him Share His Feelings

This is a big complaint, if not THE BIGGEST one that so many women have about the guy they are involed with.

It's his lack of ability to share his deepest feelings and to express himself in a truly authentic way with you.  

That and transparency.

The desire to share deep feelings the a hallmark of a strong and emotionally intimate relationship.

If he's not sharing his feelings with you, then the relationship can only be built on your best guess and not based on what he's really feeling.

That is  unless you can read his mind!

Now, it's reasonable to expect that a relationship will start off rather tentatively.

It's completely normal for two people to begin with only slowly sharing information about themselves.

But, there will come a point when you'll both need to open up and share more details about your pasts and present.

By a certain point, your conversations will need to evolve into sharing feelings about situations, feelings about your wants, your desires and both your dreams for the future.

Without that evolution taking place and the sharing of those thoughts and feelings, the relationship won't go anywhere.

It will just stagnate.

This begs the question of how to get your man to express and share his feelings with you without dragging them out of him?  

How do you avoid making him feel as though he can't deliver the emotional intimacy you crave?

The key is to help guide him into growing in that direction so that he will express himself but without him feeling as though he doesn't live up to your expectations.

To start, you do this based on where he is at right now and move forward.

That might sound kind of simplistic, but don't be tempted to expect too much too soon from him.

First - pay attention to what he talks most freely about now.

That could be sports, work, movies, books, family, friends, or even his past... pick whatever he's really into and then build from there.

If you see that he is totally comfortable talking about his feelings about football or basketball or poker ...etc...  then engage him at that level.

It's the safest subject to start with.

Make sure that he has plenty of time to get used to expressing his feelings about his favorite sports to YOU.

It's training his brain!

You see, once you get him used to engaging easily about the sports topic, it will come time to introduce another subject.

Make the next one a subject that is as safe as sports. Make sure it isn't dangerous to his emotionally slippery position. In other words, without any cunning or deceit, bring up the new subject with the same amount of openness, ease and interest that you did with sports.

Now build on these, step by step.

It doesn't need to take months or years.

This should take place over a number of weeks when you have access to your guy at least 4-5 times a week.

Now, if you are in a long distance relationship then you need to expect to extend that time line.

If you are seeing him 4 to 5 times per week, then you can expect to work through this in several weeks while still respecting his ability to move forward.

Once he's at the point where he feels comfortable sharing his feelings with you about topics that aren't threatening to him, it's time to start working on other subjects to bring forward that a guy might find a little bit threatening.

Do NOT go over the top and ask, "Do you love me?"

Not unless you purposely want him to run from you as fast as he can.

Instead, share your feelings about him in a way that is low pressure and doesn't sound like you expect a response.

Try making a statement like: "I totally had a great time spending the afternoon with you."

That shows your appreciation for him and that you like being with him.

But it is not threatening because you're not being heavy or serious. 

Keep comments light like this in the early stages.

Next, you can bump it up a notch to, "I'm starting to think we have something worth hanging onto here."

Just be sure to give him time and space - not pressure.

Indirectly, what you are doing is asking him to grow and develop and that just takes time.

If he is not expressing himself, it's either because it's too hard for him to open up or it's because he doesn't want to share with you.

So if you are taking things easy, it will give him the room to eventually feel comfortable enough to start expressing himself.

Just be ready for anything  - he may not say what you expected.

If you want him to fall in love with you, you'll want to read this next post:

Wishing you the best in love and life ~ Vollanza